Living apart: migrant workers' families

The video call from Riyadh comes at ten, after his shift. Rupali, 30, props the phone against the tiffin carrier on the kitchen windowsill. Her husband asks if the money arrived, whether Abba took his pressure tablet, and how their daughter did in her test. Then the silence. “Ar ki khobor?” he asks. “Nothing,” she says. On his side, a fan and five men sharing a room. On hers, a flat in Jatrabari full of his family.

She moved from Cumilla two years ago so her daughter could go to a better school. Her mother-in-law is kind but keeps the keys. Her youngest brother-in-law, sixteen, is teaching her to make reels, and is the only person who makes her laugh. “Bhabi, you have to point at the words. Everyone points at the words.” The reel gets eleven views; nine are his.

She is the one who manages the remittance, the school fees, the doctor visits and the in-laws’ moods, and she cannot remember the last time someone asked about her. Lately she wakes at four with her heart racing, and cries in the bathroom so her daughter will not see.

An illustration drawn from common experience. The person is invented; the pattern is not.

Understanding living apart from a migrant spouse

Many Bangladeshi families live this way, held together by remittances and nightly calls. The arrangement brings gains and costs: loneliness, a marriage reduced to logistics, responsibility without authority in someone else’s household, debt from migration costs, and worry about a husband’s safety and health abroad. For some women the strain becomes depression or an anxiety disorder, which often shows as poor sleep, headaches, palpitations or tiredness before it is named.

How common it is

The evidence comes mostly from Nepal and Sri Lanka, and estimates vary widely. In a 2025 Nepali community study of 179 wives of international migrant workers, 54.7% scored for depression and 53.1% for anxiety on a screening questionnaire; debt and the frequency of remittances and of communication with husbands were linked to symptoms. Another Nepali study found much lower rates (6.5% with mild or moderate depression), and linked daily contact with husbands to higher resilience. In Sri Lanka, 14.4% of left-behind spouses had a common mental disorder. In Bangladesh, a study of 3,187 married women in Matlab found that wives of migrants were less likely to go without needed healthcare (11.7% against 21.8%), but more often faced family barriers, such as not being permitted to seek care or to travel alone.

Signs worth noticing

• Waking early with a racing heart or worry
• Headaches, body aches or tiredness without a clear cause
• Feeling numb or flat on calls with her husband
• Crying alone, or losing interest in things she enjoyed
• Not being able to go to a doctor without permission

How care helps

Assessment looks at mood, anxiety and sleep, and at physical causes such as anaemia or thyroid problems. Therapy, such as CBT or interpersonal therapy, helps with low mood and with practical problems: how to talk to her husband about more than money, how to raise her needs within the household, how to rebuild a little life of her own. Couples sessions can happen by video, across time zones. Where depression is moderate or severe, medication may be discussed.

What getting better can look like

Better for Rupali might be one call a week that is only about the two of them, a morning tailoring class two streets away, her mother-in-law handing over a spare key, and a reel with twelve views.

Common questions about living apart from a migrant spouse

Do wives of migrant workers get depressed?

Many cope well, but studies in South Asia have found high levels of depression and anxiety symptoms in some groups of left-behind wives. Loneliness, debt, heavy household responsibility and limited contact with husbands appear to add to the risk.

How can couples stay close when one works abroad?

Regular, unhurried contact seems to help: a study from Nepal linked daily contact with husbands to greater resilience. Talking about feelings and plans, not only money and errands, and having support close by also matter.

When to see a psychiatrist

If loneliness or worry has become constant, or sleep and health are suffering, a consultation can help. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, please call 999.

Care here is personal: built around your history, your health and what you want to change, and reviewed with you as it goes.

Sources

• Basnet et al., BMJ Open, 2025 (PMID 41401992)
• Aryal et al., International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 2020 (PMID 32079358)
• Siriwardhana et al., BMC Public Health, 2015 (PMID 25884656)
• West et al., PLoS One, 2021 (PMID 34855799)