Anger

It was the third time this month. A car cut in front of him on the Mohakhali flyover, and Habib, who chairs a chamber of commerce committee and is known for his patience in negotiations, was out of his car before he knew it, shouting, his hands shaking. His daughter, in the back seat, did not speak for the rest of the journey. That silence is what made him look for help.

An illustration drawn from common experience. The person is invented; the pattern is not.

Understanding anger

Anger itself is a normal and sometimes useful emotion. It becomes a problem when it is frequent, intense, out of proportion, or expressed in ways that hurt people, including the angry person. Often something else is underneath: stress, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, alcohol, past trauma, or feeling powerless. In some people, sudden irritability is a sign of a mood disorder that needs treatment.

Signs worth noticing

• Outbursts you regret, or that frighten others
• Breaking things, or threatening people
• Family members walking on eggshells around you
• Anger that is followed by shame and then by more anger

How care helps

Assessment looks for what is driving the anger, including mental health conditions, alcohol or drug use, sleep and physical health. Anger management based on cognitive behavioural therapy teaches people to notice the early signals in the body, to step away before the explosion, and to say what they need without aggression. Family members can be part of the work.

What getting better can look like

Habib’s test might be the next time a car cuts in: his hands still tighten on the wheel, he breathes, and his daughter keeps chatting in the back seat.

Common questions about anger

Is anger a mental illness?

No. Anger is a normal and sometimes useful emotion. It becomes a problem when it is frequent, intense, out of proportion or hurts people. Often something sits underneath, such as stress, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, alcohol or past trauma, and in some people sudden irritability is a sign of a mood disorder that needs treatment.

What happens in anger management therapy?

Anger management based on cognitive behavioural therapy teaches people to notice the early signals in the body, to step away before an outburst, and to say what they need without aggression. Assessment first looks at what is driving the anger, including sleep, alcohol or drug use and mental health conditions, and family members can be part of the work.

When to see a psychiatrist

If your anger is hurting people you love, help can change it. If anyone is in danger at home, call 999.

Care here is personal: built around your history, your health and what you want to change, and reviewed with you as it goes.