Couples and marriage

Before the wedding, Reza and Anika talked until the phone batteries died: films, books, the documentary he would make one day. Seven years later he produces television, she teaches at a university, and they share a house in Dhanmondi with his parents. They talk about the children’s school fees and his father’s blood pressure. When the children are asleep, they look at separate screens.

An illustration drawn from common experience. The people are invented; the pattern is not.

Understanding couples and marriage

Distance in a marriage often grows slowly, through busyness, children, money worries, family pressure and unresolved hurts, rather than through one big event. Couples also bring patterns from the families they grew up in. Premarital counselling can help couples talk through expectations before they become disappointments: about money, family roles, children, faith, sex and in-laws.

Signs worth noticing

• Talking only about logistics
• The same unresolved arguments, or none at all
• Feeling lonely within the marriage
• Major decisions ahead, such as marriage, a move, or living with family, with unspoken disagreements

How care helps

Couple therapy gives both partners a neutral, confidential room and a structure for difficult conversations, and helps each understand the pattern rather than blame the other. Where one partner’s depression, anxiety or other difficulty is part of the picture, that is assessed and treated too. Counselling is not only for marriages in crisis; it can be useful early.

What getting better can look like

For Reza and Anika, a start might be a winter evening on the balcony with the screens left inside, and a conversation that is not about the fees.

Common questions about couples and marriage

Is marriage counselling only for couples close to divorce?

No. Couples counselling is not only for marriages in crisis, and it can be useful early. Premarital counselling helps couples talk through expectations about money, family roles, children, faith, sex and in-laws before they become disappointments.

What happens in couples counselling?

Couple therapy gives both partners a neutral, confidential room and a structure for difficult conversations. It helps each partner understand the pattern between them rather than blame the other, and if one partner’s depression or anxiety is part of the picture, that is assessed and treated too. Where there is violence or fear at home, safety comes first.

When to see a psychiatrist

Whether you are preparing for marriage or feel your marriage drifting, couples counselling can help. If there is violence or fear at home, safety comes first: call 999 if anyone is in danger.

Care here is personal: built around your history, your health and what you want to change, and reviewed with you as it goes.