Understanding yourself
In-law conflict
“In my shashuri’s house, I can never do anything right.”
Joint family tension is part of many marriages in Bangladesh. When it wears down mood, sleep and the marriage, it deserves care.
Moumita has a master’s in economics and, since the wedding, a place in her in-laws’ house in Dhanmondi. Her shashuri corrects how she cooks the daal, how she dresses, how she raises the baby, and tells relatives at every Eid how things were done in her day. Her husband says his mother means well and changes the subject. Moumita cries in the bathroom, smiles at dinner, and has stopped sleeping.
An illustration drawn from common experience. The people are invented; the pattern is not.
Understanding in-law conflict
Living with in-laws can bring warmth, support and help with children. It can also bring daily criticism, clashes over roles and traditions, and a spouse caught between loyalty to parents and to partner. Over time this can contribute to anxiety, depression, insomnia and marital breakdown, especially for women who have left their own families and support. Conflict can run in every direction, and both generations can be suffering.
Signs worth noticing
- Dreading being at home, or tension at every meal
- Low mood, tearfulness or poor sleep
- A spouse who avoids taking sides, or takes only one
- Arguments with your partner that are really about the family
How care helps
Individual therapy helps with mood, boundaries and coping. Couple sessions help partners become a team. Where the family is willing, family sessions give each generation a place to be heard. Depression or anxiety is assessed and treated in its own right.
What getting better can look like
Better, for Moumita, might be a husband who speaks up once, gently, a dinner where the daal is not discussed, and a night’s sleep.
Common questions about in-law conflict
Can conflict with in-laws cause depression?
Daily criticism, clashes over roles and a spouse caught in the middle can, over time, lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia and strain in the marriage. This is especially so for women who have left their own families and support. When mood and sleep are suffering, it deserves care in its own right.
Can therapy help with joint family conflict?
Yes. Individual therapy helps with mood, boundaries and coping, couple sessions help partners work as a team, and family sessions, where everyone is willing, give each generation a place to be heard. If there is violence or threat at home, safety comes first: call 999.
When to see a psychiatrist
If family tension at home is affecting your mood, sleep or marriage, talking to someone can help. If there is violence or threat at home, your safety comes first: call 999.
Care here is personal: built around your history, your health and what you want to change, and reviewed with you as it goes.
If some of this sounds familiar, a first conversation is a good place to start. You do not need the right words, or to be certain.
Dr. Tajreen is consulting in Uttar Badda now, until 8:00 pm. Call +880 1847-331010Every address and its hours
You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin.
